Discovery Girls

Being jealous of a friend can really mess with your self-esteem. Not only do you feel bad about yourself when you compare yourself to her, you can start to feel angry and resentful toward your friend, too. But then you feel guilty, because you know she’s done nothing wrong. Doesn’t that make you a terrible friend?

No, it doesn’t—but you do need to break out of this pattern! First, try to pinpoint the true cause of your feelings. Do you really wish you had her silky hair and perfect skin? Or do you just crave the attention her looks bring her? Instead of thinking, “Why does she have to be so darn cute?” you can say to yourself, “I want to be noticed and admired, too.” Finding the heart of the problem lets you think about it in a different way—less like a complaint, and more like a goal. The next step? Focus on what’s great about you—without making comparisons. When you feel more accomplished in your own right, you’ll be less concerned about how perfect someone else is.

Here’s another tip—one that might just save your friendship! It sounds strange, but the fastest way to deflate your jealousy is to tell your friend. “You’re so pretty and smart—sometimes I’m really jealous!” When it’s out in the open, you’ll see it’s just a feeling, no big deal. Your friend might even blurt out that she’s jealous of you, too—because no matter how things look, no one really has everything, not even your “perfect” friend!

Have you ever been jealous of a friend?